In the heat of the night

It’s almost 11 pm and 90 F outside. It’s bloody hot and it’s been like that for a few days. It’s tough to get some sleep. But the heat in this post is more of an emotional nature. It’s a heat mixed with emotion, happiness, sadness …and, above all, surprise. I tasted such a cocktail yesterday.

Guy meets girl. Another guys meets girl. Guys like girl. Guys try to get girl. Girl chooses guy. Guy wins. Other guy moves forward. I guess almost all of you have gone through such a situation at some point in your lives. It happened to me some years ago and yesterday I had a revival. By the way, I was the one who had to move forward…

It was a pity at that time b/c I did really like the girl. She was pretty, friendly and smart. After a couple of tries I realized that I was not gonna be her choice. So, I withdrew gently. I still remember the night I met her and how things evolved the days after.

The thing is that I met this girl – and her “winning guy” too – again yesterday at a party. After some talking about our respective lives, and after some drinks, we had a conversation that, in her last words, “we will never have had”. Why? Because it essentially entailed that her choice some years ago could have been the other way around. At the beginning I didn’t take it seriously and I thought that she was just kidding. But soon I noticed I was wrong. The things she told me, a look in the eye, a touching hand, a cell phone number (again)… but it leads nowhere now, for good or for bad.

On the one hand, I felt good about what she told me. On the other, I was sad that past wrong signals, incorrect interpretations and so forth prevented it from happening in the past. When I have woken up today I couldn’t stop thinking about this, even more after receiving a short message on my cell…

It’s amazing how things may change in a nanosecond. How decisions that we take about others, or that others take about us, sometimes depend on very subtle things, on perceptions… What is not going to change, though, is the damn heat that won’t let me fall asleep quickly tonight.

Ciao